I Did Not Know

I Did Not Know

I.

When I stood on the deck of my wayward ship,

Like a pirate, an outlaw, with sand in his teeth;

When I stood there alone with grim eyes set

And a lonely voyage haunting my mind,

I did not know that you would wait for me.

But you waited,

And when I returned from my strange seas,

Drunk with my broken freedom,

Your saint-like eyes lit up a heart

Which I myself

Had forgotten--

For I was tired and scared,

And did not believe.

II.

When I turned away that final time,

Turned like a thief escapes into twilight,

Vanished from our scented chamber

To wander a cold, aching mist,

I did not know that you would leave me.

But you left,

And when I returned from my desolate streets,

Seeking the arms that had wrapped around me,

Our chamber was empty, the oil was burned;

For you knew,

My love,

You knew;

You knew in your heart that the soul of our love

Was a youthful and delicate soul,

And its brightness might falter and flicker away

If I sailed off again like a stubborn outlaw.

And you knew that your heart

Was not dressed in mail,

That the blade of my terror

Could vanquish us both;

Ever so wisely, 

You knew--

You who stood beside me,

You who let me go,

You who left me, 

You who found me,

You who like a queen

Welcomed me back

From a long and shadowy exile.