Wisdom Of The Ambien Man

Ambien Man:  Look, the truth is, you can fuck a girl and you can fuck her friend, and you can fuck a zillion girls in this way; and you can fuck her up the ass and let her have it like it’s really something, ‘cause she wants it and you know she does and you’re gonna make her beg for it, man, because let’s face it, she’s a whore and you want to see her as a whore and you want to see her take it like a whore.  And you can line up three buddies to fuck her too, and get her as fucked up as you like, and make her do things all night long that will make her look like she’s a fucking animal.  But finally you find that in some not unimportant part of yourself, it leaves you coming up cold every time.  It leaves you feeling like a monkey on a leash, every time, because you never really felt anything.  It leaves you thinking, is this what we hoped for, is this what we strove for, is this the great pay off we dared to envision?  Doesn’t this leave a little something to be desired?  Is this all that I can hope to acheive through love and through the glory of the female touch, the music of a woman’s touch...?  No.  There is someone else that you are.  There’s someone else who starts to wonder.  So then you wonder.  You go out for a walk on the street and you wonder, what the fuck else is there?  What am I missing?  Is there maybe something else?  Is there another thing?  Isn't there another mode, which although it may sound trite might also be quite true, that as that singer declared who was shot dead, I believe, by his father:  “Ain’t nothin’ like the real thing baby.”  To say, c’mon, baby, I wanna get to know you?  Let’s go maybe get some ice cream together; let’s go for a walk together; let’s go out and look at the sky together, and talk, and find out about each other, and talk about what’s important to one another and talk about what it is that matters to the other, and about what it is that we’re thinking we’re gonna do, or wanna do, and what we want to do together.  To walk and talk and laugh and think together about what it is that could be happening.  That, that.  To cut through the bullshit and the layers of loathing and pretension and desire and stupidity, to cut through all that. . .  that’s very fucking hard.  And if you can say that, if you can do that, I envy you.  You’ve found something very few people can say they’ve truly known.